Happy Chinese new year!

So I met Clayre on Thursday evening. She wanted to meet at this beer garden next to her work that she keeps going past and thought could be cool. It was like a big terrace and a karaoke stage (of course, otherwise it wouldn’t be Cambodian) and loads and loads of staff. Some of the beer girls were a bit scantly dressed for Cambodian taste which made us wonder if this was the kinda place where you get a bit more than a drink and food. We looked at the menu and decided from the price of the food that we’d just have a drink there and then move on. So we ordered a 1l bottle of Tiger beer for 2. In Cambodia, when you go to a restaurant, there is always more staff than clients. When you order there’s like 3 of them listening, and then when take the smallest sip from your glass, immediately someone will rush to you table to refill it. Then one of the ice cube girls will run to you too and fill up your glass with ice. The problem is that if you said you want no ice, not only because ice in beer is weird but because ice here is made from non-drinkable water, sold in blocks on the floor of a street and then dragged from the back of a motorbike, you have to say it every sip you take because a new ice girl will have not heard it the first time you said no ice, and anyway, even if it happens to be the same person, her job is to refill ice, so she will refill ice unless you put your hand over your glass, look at her straight in the eyes and say slowly "até okun". In this place, it was the same with beer. We were like talking and drinking, and because it keeps refilling every sip you take, you have no idea how many glasses you drink. After a half hour or so I was quite hungry and eager to get out of there, but I looked at the bottle and saw it was really full. Turned out they’d opened another bottle, without asking us if we wanted it. I complained to the guy, but he responded that if you finish a bottle they will open another one, unless you say you don’t want it. So it was our fault from not having caught those sneaky beer girls putting a new bottle in the champagne bucket, even though we had asked when we ordered for one bottle, not two. These are the times I wish I could speak fluently Khmer so I could complain to restaurant staff like I know to do so well, you know, being French.

Friday night I went out with Dana, the American girl from Pact Cambodia. We went to a Thai restaurant in Sisowath quay (the place with all the hotels, bars and white people in shorts). The place was really nice and fancy (except for the frequent blackouts, but that’s just Cambodia. you get used to it and carry a torch with you at all times) and the cheapest meal would burst my weekly food budget. But it was nice, I can do that once in a while. We met up with some of her friends and it was so interesting to be part of a different community. There is so much to say about communities in Cambodia. Unfortunately I have not been here long enough to fully understand the subtleties of it all, but I already notice trends, attitudes etc. You don’t just have the francophone and the anglophones. Within each, you have communities of embassy workers, international organization civil servants, then international NGO workers (like Pact Cambodia) and then local NGO workers (like me). Dana and the girl I met up with for dinner with Friday were all dressed up and had make up, and I felt like quite the tramp, even though when I hang out with my “community” I feel like a prissy girl. Then we went to a guy’s flat which was also on sisowath quay and was this sort of really modern clean flat with a balcony overlooking the river. Here too, people were dressed up nice and drinking expensive drinks. And then we went to a new bar which had opened on a boat. I felt like I’d seen a lot of expats since I arrived, and each time I go out, I would recognize people. But there I realized I had just scraped the surface of the expat world in Cambodia . I have only been acquainted with the local NGO – francophone community. Now there were all these fancy looking English-speaking people in this trendy bar. I was talking a lot about it with this guy I met there. He’s French and also hangs out with the English-speaking people so he had a lot to say about the different communities. It’s really interesting. This could be a great subject for a sociology thesis. Anyway, I’m glad I can meet people in both groups, or in as many groups as possible. I find it scary to be working with people for a whole year, then going out with more or less the same people, and seeing just them all year long. You have to realize that you will be hanging out just with white people when you go out here, so it might as well be as diverse as possible, otherwise you suffocate. And even though I can’t keep up with people earning 10 times my salary, it’s also nice to be dressing nice and drinking cocktails once in a while.

Saturday was fun too. I went to Corinne’s after work for Raphael’s birthday. We started by blowing up hundreds of balloons, making up games etc. The kids started arriving at 3. It was so cute. I’ve seen these kids before and they look kinda scruffy. Here they were all in their best dressed clothes, and had washed their hair and the boys had it parted neatly on the side. They all had put perfume on and everything. Being invited at the white people’s house was obviously a big deal. We had organized a lot of games and each time they did one they would win a toy that we’d bought at Psar O’Russei. They were loving it. We had the food, the party hats (very Cambodian), loads of games everywhere. Corinne had filled in the small pool they have, and Raphael went in there with his dad. The other kids wouldn’t go in , but they all clustered around the pool to watch. It made us laugh, it was kinda like the his majesty’s bath.



After they had cake and soda though, some started going in, but they would carefully pull up their trousers so as not to get them wet. Cambodian kids like that probably never saw a pool in their life. They probably went swimming in the Mekong or perhaps in the sea. But pools are usually in hotels or sport centers for white people. But after a while, little by little they would start playing and then 15 minutes later… absolute mayhem. There were like 25 kids in this tiny pool screaming and splashing and pushing each other. They stayed in there for hours and they soaked the whole terrace. They were in a filthy state when we finally kicked them out. It was a bit embarrassing considering how neatly they’d arrived…

We then had a very appreciated shower and went out for Amory’s birthday on the boat. That was really fun too. The food was delicious and the people there were really nice. We went to another newly opened bar in town. It was this kind of “concept” place that keeps springing up all over Phnom Penh. You’ll have like a trendy bar with chilled out music, dimmed lights and like seating areas on cushions. And then there’ll be another room where you can buy expensive clothes and then a art gallery. It’s really popular here. I was quite tired (I haven’t adjusted yet to the 6 hours max sleep per night, 6 days a week. Apparently you get used to it after a few months) but it was good fun. We played silly games like taking pictures of ourselves being turtles until 3 am.

For my only day off I managed to get up not earlier than 9.30 which I was quite happy with. Of course I was more or less awake from 6.30. Not only do people not understand the concept of sleeping in and being quiet on Sunday mornings here, but it’s Chinese New Year today, so a a lot of music dances are going on. This is when you realise how many Chinese live here. The town is dead. All the shops are closed and people only take a day off if they're chinese. So the shop owners hire a chinese troupe to come do the dance of the dragon in front of their shop/restaurant. It last a few minutes, or longer if the shop owner in question has more money. Then the troupe moves on to the next shop. I was gutted cos I didn't have my camera with me when I saw a dance happening, so sorry, no visual aid on that...

Made in O Russei

The last two days have not been as exciting as usual, as I mainly stayed in the office all the time. I'm really behind with all my reports. Today I was supposed to visit a family house and take pictures and interview the kids but I didn't have time so instead I'll just interview the mom when she comes to pick up her allowance on Monday and use pictures which were taken a few months ago and weren't used in a previous report. Tomorrow I'm planning to go to the temporary center of Chamcar Mon. This guy called M. Phanna is the director of the center. He's great. He is so dedicated to his work and he does so much for his center. Writing the annual report for this center is a piece of cake as he already written his own report and all I'm left to do is to make sense of fis English and type it out nicely. Having said that, making sense of his English is not always easy. Here is a paragraph from his report, under the heading of "the reality of streets" :
The sexual contact
Most of the streets children have involved with sex issue. According to the age of puberty, sex attraction, influence of TV, VCD, or films, many children happened with the sex issue. It has found as in the streets:
a) The street boys and street girls have fallen in sexually
b) The street boys and street boys with homosexual (having not often living in the streets)
c) The street women were sexed with young boys (having often happened in the streets)
d) The adult men were convinced, threaten the street girls and raped and quitted, this case never been arrested them.
e) The both Khmer and foreigners have often involved convinced the street children for sex by consoling and offering some thing to the children.

It's even harder to understand Khmers when they speak sometimes. But I'll get used to it. And in the meantime I will improve my Khmer. I started classes this week. I should have never said I was an intermediate level. The teacher speaks to me in Khmer ONLY. She'll repeat the sentence again and again if I don't get it, and then if I repeat a word which is blocking my understanding of the sentence in an inquisitive manner she just uses another sentence in Khmer to explain that word. I suspect she doesn't speak English or French at all which would explain her determination never to translate anything but by explaining and confusing the hell out of me. But 3 classes of complete confusion per week will undoubtedly help me a lot. I only had 2 classes and I can already feel it easier to make whole sentences. One thing is for sure, I master small talk (that is presenting myself, saying if I have a boyfriend, why I'm not married etc etc) for all the kids who ask me, order a meal at a restaurant and not just by pointing on the menu, by reading it out, and most importantly, negotiate with the motodop driver the price of the journey and get him to go in the right place. Granted, I obviously wasn't up to that a few days ago (see fiasco Saturday night) but I've learnt my lesson well.

During my lunch break I went to Psar O'Russei with Corinne to buy crappy toys for her kid's birthday. He's having a party with all the kids from his street Saturday afternoon as I've been enrolled as a chaperone. Oh my goodness, you should come to Cambodia just for his market experience. There is SO MUCH crap there you cannot even imagine. I mean I went there thinking I need to buy plastic toys and party hats and I just wanted to buy everything. I just can't describe what was there. Cos there was just absolutely everything one may need or may probably have absolutely no use for but still wants. Half of the stuff is just made in China crap so mountain of plastic toys sold in rice bags by the kilo. One kilo of plastic army men and tanks for example costs 2000 riel, or half a dollar. Then there's (in a similar order) wedding dresses, notebooks and pens which are stacked up to the ceiling, ribbon, floor tiles, spices, towels, packs of bulk cookies and crisps, hairclips and jewelery, dried fruit, Chinese new year decorations, car parts, mobile phones… and so much more. It made me think of this slogan for this department store in Paris (which by the way just closed) called La Samaritaine. It used to be "on trouve tout Paris à la samaritaine" (One can find all of Paris at la samaritaine). This market's slogan could easily be "One finds the whole wide world at Psar O'Russei" Anyway, you have to be there.

Not much more to report, apart that things are looking up for me. I feel like I've made my nest here now. I more or less situate myself in Phnom Penh, I've got stuff on every night and plans for a weekend packed of fun (including a birthday do on a boat on the Mekong – last time Corinne went on one it sunk and the fisherman who tried to save the poor souls sunk as well) and probably another visit to Psar O'Russei. I've also decorated my room to make it more homely despite the noise the heat and the dust. And I'm getting paid this week so I won't have to worry about every riel spent anymore.

Anyway, gotta go meet Clayre at the Garden Café. I've heard it's -7 degrees in Paris. Boooww, tough luck…. Morijtos by the pool for me!!

Introducing...

Just thought I should explain who all the people are that I'm mentioning in my posts:

Corinne = 34-year-old communication officer at Krousar Thmey since 2003. The girl I'm here to replace
Cedric = Corinne's husband. Works in micro-finance
Raphael = Corinne and Cedric's 2-year-old gorgeous kid
Julie = Volunteer. Finance manager at Krousar Thmey
Silvere= Julie's boyfriend
Guillaume = Volunteer. Communication officer at Krousar Thmey
Veronique = Volunteer working as a orthophonist for deaf children
Kosal = Director General of Krousar Thmey
Clayre = A friend. Works for Enfants Refugies du Monde. Is here until April
Amory = Belgian PhD student. Lives with Clayre

Veasna's family

So, little summary on my last two days.

I went swimming with Clayre at the VIP sport center. It was sweet. Really big pool, long chairs all around it, and cheap food brought to you as you lie there sun bathing. I really appreciated that. It's a bit expensive, but if I have money left over from my weekly budget, I'll try going there as much as possible on Sundays. Weekdays isn't possible as the sun sets at 6 and I finish work at 5. Then I went to Julie's aperitif and brought Clayre along. She has a really nice flat, I'm quite envious. She had to buy all the cookery stuff new which means everything is clean and neat. You should see the stuff we have to use to cook and eat in…

Today I went to the center in Psar Depot and asked the director to show me the file on a child who used to go to the center and who is now reintegrated. She chose the case of Veasna. She told me a bit about his story and then we went to see him. His mom took some time of work to welcome us. When her husband left her, she used to sell vegetables in the street, but worked long hours and didn't earn enough to feed her 4 children. As a result they were all working in the streets, and Veasna was selling incense in front of pagodas instead of going to school. When they took in her
children to the center, Krousar Thmey recommended to the mother to follow a training course in another NGO which taught women how to sow bags, wallets with traditional Khmer silk. A few months later, Krousar Thmey bought her a sowing machine and the kids were reintegrated into their home. Things are looking up for them, as the mom is making many (gorgeous looking) artifacts. But the father often comes back drunk, beats the mom and the children, steals money, sometimes grabs one of the kids and leaves again. This is very destabilizing for them and all she wants is to have a little capital to be able to set up a business somewhere out of Phnom Penh so that he can't find them anymore. Krousar Thmey can unfortunately not offer her the money she is asking for. It was very sad to see this woman who was working really hard and did her best to raise her children well, but just couldn't make it.
What made it worse is that her 10 year old daughter is HIV positive. The rest of the family went for tests and none of them have it, and looking at the young face of the little girl I didn't even want to ask how she got it. She quit school a month ago because her constant diarrhea and cramps all over her body were embarrassing and she was in too much pain to concentrate at school. The mother looked at me and asked me if I knew a NGO which could take care of her. Mrs Tannath, the center's director told her that I wouldn't know but that she will try to find out. Veasna is doing ok at school. He used to be ranked 5th in his class but last semester was below average as his dad took him with him during the exam period. The older brother Samnang isn't working well as school. He sometimes skips to go play video games and his results are mediocre. He got a good telling off from Mrs Tannath, for not trying to work better at school.

I was looking at all the stuff this women sowed and I was amazed at how well it was made. I asked her where she was selling and how much she sold them. She saw I liked them so she gave me a wallet and a little shoe bag. I was so touched, but felt so bad for accepting them, knowing how little she made from selling them and how long it took her to do one. If any of you in interested in buying these wallets, I could possibly go and ask her. They cost 3 dollars.

Anyway, so that was another interesting experience. I wanted to help them so much but felt powerless. I'm maybe gonna search for an NGO like the one she works for in another city, or for an NGO who could take care of her girl. Tonight I'm going to the new Lucky Market, the number one supermarket in Cambodia, and buy chocolate and cheese. That should add up to 10$, or a 28th of my salary, plus the cost and hassle of going all the way to town, but I've been craving it for so long now…

Weekend fun

January 22nd

On Friday night I went back to this little garden café which served 2 for 1 morjitos and then we went to eat at a dodgy little Chinese "restaurant" near the Psar Thmey, where the dumpling were soggy and dripping in oily water (I was sick the next morning). Then we went to Teukei where I found Corrine and Cedric. I sat with them and met this Belgian guy called Amori who was really fun and his new house mate, who arrived a day before me, Clayre. She's really nice. We started talking when we went to the new cool club which just open "The Rock". We'd drove past it a few times and it's this gigantic dome shaped building. We arrived and a car keeper showed us the way to park our car, a little side road. We quickly understood why: the car park in front of the building had only huge, shiny and so luxurious 4x4s… This new cool place is for rich son of ministers etc. Well, it was quite an experience. Everything inside was demesurate. Thousand of staff dressed in bow tie and long silk dresses. An immense concert hall with table and couches in front of the stage. At first it was Cambodian stuff. But from 1am a Cambodian DJ started playing western tunes and then the 3 Cambodian who'd sand the Cambodian crap before turned up again and started doing ricky martin, whitney Huston, destiny's child…The whole experience was bizarre cos this is another face of Cambodia I didn't know. The few filthy rich people. I mean the only thing we could afford there was Angkor beer. We though about ordering the 250$ chateau of I don't know what and then just leave after they opened it though…

Anyway, that was fun. So I got chatting to Clayre a lot, who's my age (people are usually at the very least 26 (Guillaume), but mostly between 28-35) and she's already lived in Mali a few time and is really interesting and nice person. We agreed to go shopping at the Russian market Saturday and go to the pool Sunday. Then we went to the Heart of Darkness, another NGO worker and expat filled people. By then I was too tired to have fun. It's hard going out Friday night when you've been waking up a 6.30 everyday of the week and still have to get up at 6.3o the next morning.

Which it was. I was so tired I didn't do any productive work. The morning went so slow, I swore to myself I would never go out so late on a Friday again. But it's a pain. I always thought weekend were too short in the first place, but just 1 day to sleep in is just not fair. Especially since your body is so used to getting up early, and it so F*** loud outside anyway, that you never sleep beyond 8 anyway on Sundays. Anyway, so yesterday I met Clayre after work (and a 1 hour nap) at the Russian market and again I spent too much money. But I wanted to buy a few decorations to make my new room homely. Julie and Silvere have moved out yesterday and I get their bigger room. I need to decorate it now otherwise I'll never do it.

Then we went for drinks at hers and then went for a meal and then we decided to go for a drink on the riverside. We walk out of the restaurant (which by the way, was a rip off. There were no prices on the menu and we asked how much stuff was. One lady would say it in Khmer and the other lady would translate a completely different price. Like she said the fried rice was 6000, so I hear that and I say it again and she says no no, 15000. I just laughed and said no, no, I understood what she said and she said 6000. In the end they charged us 8000. Pissed me off a bit that the price vary according to skin color but at least I got us out of paying more than double the normal price)

Anyway, so we come out of the restaurant and as usual, a group of motodop parked outside raise their hand and yell out "moto?". WE went to one of them and said Sisowath quay and he nodded. We sat and started chatting, not looking where we were heading. Then we started getting suspicious when he does a U turn in the middle of a road. He goe to a small side street and we remind him where he's going. I mean, we couldn't possible ask for a place in Phnom Penh which is more well-known. Then, he just stopped. Talked o a lady outside a closed restaurant. Again we tried to explains to him that we wanted to go to the riverfront. We said Tonle Sap, Royal Palace, FCC, everything so that we would go in that direction but he was asking questions to this lady and then pointed us to go to that restaurant instead. We were like that's it. And we walked away. So here we were wondering in an unknown place in Phnom Penh at night. Was pretty dead. We found more or less where we were and then another motodop driver came up to us. This guy was even worse. We knew in which direction we needed to go but he wouldn't listen to us. He was driving like a maniac and in the completely wrong direction. He was just laughing and repeating what we were saying. It wasn't long before he realized he was completely high on glue or something. We arrived at Wat Phnom round about and he went around it at high speed, in the wrong direction. We were so freaked out. At one point another motorbike going in the right direction had to do a serious swerve to avoid collision. So we asked him to stop. We looked at are map and saw which way we needed to go. We directed him the whole way and as soon as we saw the Palace we said ok that's it, take you money and we'll walk from here. And his eyes were clearly shiny and red. Scary experience, but kinda funny as well.

We were disappointed by the bars there. They're filled by old American and Australians chatting up the waitresses. It's not even expats in these bars, it's tourists, which is even worse. We had a few beers there and then we headed off to his party she knew was going on. There we saw Julie, Silvere and Guillaume, who were all like, hi, what a surprise to see you here, we'd thought we'd missed you

Well, so here I am. It's Sunday morning and I woke up at 8. I'm alone at the casa with Guillaume but hopefully I should be meeting Clayre this afternoon to go to the pool. It's quite cloudy outside and it was raining a bit earlier, but it shouldn't last.

Trip to the Kampong Cham province

January 20th

So much to tell today. The trip went not too bad despite the 5.30 am start. It was maybe a bit awkward as I was dead tired but trying at the same time to make conversation with Kosal who was driving. I put my sunglasses on at one point so that I could catch a few winks without her noticing…

So we started with the school for blind and deaf children, which unlike the Chba Ampeu one is in one single compound. Which is a bit a weird, cos they can’t communicate (the blind can’t see the deaf’s sign language, and the deaf can’t hear the blind). It was really good cos we stayed from 9 am to 3pm which meant that I could really see how their everyday lives were and really take time to speak with the kids and everything. I spent the morning mainly watching them. It’s just such a great feeling to see these kids being like normal kids at school.

Then after lunch the teachers went off to a meeting with Kosal. So me and Guillaume interviewed this blind kid who spoke a bit of English. It was a bit hard to get ourselves understood. He wouldn’t understand our questions so we would reformulate and reformulate until we basicially gave him the answer we wanted to hear (eg. How was it before you came to this school? Was it difficult to play with other children? Were other children making fun of you? Etc etc). I got tired of that interview after a while so I hung around with the deaf kids instead. I went into a classroom and immediately they rushed back to their seats because they knew they weren’t supposed to mess around even if the teacher wasn’t there. I went around each table and asked for their name and how old they were. I love sign language. It’s so much fun. They were so excited about me taking an interest about them. When it came to their turn to tell me their name, their face would light up with an immense grin. Then these girls asked me to sit next to them and they went through their school book and taught me some signs. It was ok for me because I can read and understand some of the stuff that was written above the diagram of the sign. So I could actually communicate with the deaf much better than with the blind. When I really wouldn’t understand, I went up to the blackboard and wrote up my question in Khmer. They were so bluffed. But I had to be really careful with my spelling. At one point, I forgot a small accent and they were signing to me that they didn’t understand. A hearing person would have just read out the word and understood, because despite the mistake, you could read out loud the word and figure out what I meant. But I then realized that they just read by recognizing the writing and then associating it with an object or action. They don’t read out a group of letters, which makes a sound, which then is associated with a object or action. But anyway, it was loads of fun. Until the teacher came back and they all rushed back to their seats in fear.

At recess they all ran towards me with their notebooks with questions written on them. It wasn’t hard cos they were all more or less the same questions, the usual “How old are you”, “are you married” do you have a boyfriend” etc. We then had fun taking pictures of ourselves. They loved seeing themselves on the camera.

I really didn’t want to leave, I really enjoyed the deaf kids. When are car left they all waved me good bye from their classroom window. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to got back there at some point this year.

Deaf and blind schools

January 19th

This morning I went to the schools in Cba ampeu. There's two schools, one for blind one for deaf kids. It was so great. These schools are working so well and it's just amazing to see the work behind all this. We started by the blind school. When we arrived through the dusty path Corrinne recognized a group of blind kids who were walking towards their school. She stopped the car and called them. They recognized who she was and immediately jumped in the back of the truck. You should have seen them. Head up high and grins going from one ear to the other. They were proud like roosters. Not really common for kids in a country where a handicap is considered a result of a bad karma. It was amazing to see all the effort that was needed to make these schools work. There are only 4 blind schools and 4 deaf schools in Cambodia, all created and run by KT. They had to invent a Braille language for their 33 consonants, 20 vowels and 33 subscribed consonants. Then a former KT kid (sighted) who trained as a computer expert went to study to the States and brought back to Cambodia a program which tells the kids what they are doing. So you see all the completely blind kids surfing the net and writing up their English homework.
English is the other big thing in these schools next to computer classes. They are so eager to learn English as it helps them on the computers. So then they have to learn the English Braille system. Every single khmer school book, and English story book is translated into Khmer Braille on site for the kids. It was amazing going into the classes, seeing rows on quietly sitting children looking straight ahead and punching their sheet of paper away while the teacher was talking. Then we went to the deaf school. We first went to see the sign language committee, which includes people from the ministry of education, where they sit all day and rewrite each school book. Here too they invented a specific khmer sign language. So on the grade 1 book, there's loads of drawings of little people doing a sign in the margins. But on the ones for new kids, its just on new words obviously. I leaned a few words. One of the guys of the committee, a former student from the school, asked me what my name was . So Corinne told him I didn't have one yet and that he had to define it. He touched his neck with his index once. That's my name because of my beauty spot on my neck. Then we were around the classes. All the kids were asking what my name was and how old I was. I can now understand that and reply back. It's so sweet to see all these children that usually would be see as underdeveloped interacting among each other and playing like normal kids. If you can't hear or speak you have no chance in this country. And its awesome to see that they can have a chance to be normal. The classrooms were so quiet. It was funny cos while the teachers were writing on the board, the kids would cheat by talking to each other. But there was no way for the teachers to notice it obviously! Cheeky deaf kids. Here too the kids do loads of activities like dancing, painting, weaving. I bought a really nice scarf made by the deaf kids. Good idea for a present.

On the way back Corinne was telling me I had to be careful with the water here as even the water that comes in sealed bottles is not drinkable. You can still get parasites from them. They only use a chemical to "treat" it and she says that it usually not done at all. So I'm supposed to boil my water all the time. It's a pain. I'm quite sweaty here and feel dehydrated. I feel like I'm probably not drinking enough water as it is but if I have to boil my water all the time and wait for it to cool down, I'll probably be drinking even less… What a pain… I just don't want to shit worms. Especially as they are very hard to detect and can take ages before the symptoms arrive.

I went to sign up to a Khmer school during lunch time. In the end I had to go for private lessons as no group lessons offered writing and reading. It's more expensive though. I'm payed 20$ registration fee plus 50$ a month for 3 hours a week. Plus 3 x 2$ motodop to get there 3 times a week. The motodop driver who took me there today spent a lot of time finding where the school was. I had a map but they don't know how to read maps, so I was trying to give him instructions. When we found it I asked him if he could take me to class and back home3 times a week. He was really nice. He was like teaching me words I already knew and to count while he was taking me back cos he saw I was learning Khmer. He didn't speak a single word of English or French though. But we understood each other in the end, and from next week one, he will be there on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays outside my door to pick me up at 12.30, and driving me back at 1.30.

Tonight Julie's invited me to come to Capoeira with her. I said yes but oh my god this is going to be so embarrassing. I have never done before, hardly know what it looks like, and don't even have the gear for it (they seemed surprised that I didn't bring a sport kit with me…) I'm gonna be amusing the Capoeira class tonight… After that we're going to have dinner's at Corinne. She'd invited Julie and Silvere to talk about a potential job for Silvere at Cedric's (Corinne's husband) university and then she invited me along too. I think she took pity of me when I told her about how I cannot be bother to cook on my own in the evenings and end up not eating enough. That's cool cos her cook is amazing and she's making apple pie for desert! Yum… Anyway, gotta get ready for Capoeira.

Trying Capoeira

January 18th

I went to Capoeira with Julie. That was … interesting. Well it was kinda fun. But I was among buffs that had been doing this for years or at least months and I felt a little like a doof. Julie said that I actually did much better than some others when they had just started. But still, we were asked to go one by one doing cartwheels across the room, and then walking on you hands and stuff… Not the kind of stuff I usually do in my free time, especially when it's so hot in the room (I sweated at least 1 liter of water, my tshirt was soaked and stuck to my body like if I'd jumped in a pool. And I felt so dirty, the mats were covered with dust, which would then stick to our sweat. Pretty gross…). I don't know if I want to continue or not. It's 3 times a week, which is quite an investment, from next week on the mats will be removed as there will be works done to the room and it will be even dustier, and I'm just so behind everybody else. 15 before the end of the class, people make a circle and everybody two by two has to go inside it and fight/dance while the people around clap. I was mortified. Luckily the coach didn't force me to go inside the circle… But on the other hand I want to continue cos I don't want people to think I wasn't up to it. I don't know. Corinne said there are also Khmer dance classes. I'd be much more interested in that actually. I need to find out more about them.

Today was good. I went to the Psar Depot center in the afternoon It was the first time I went to a centre on my own. Of course I had to find somebody to drive me there and someone else to drive me back. It's so cute when you arrive, all the kids drop what they were doing in an instant and all rushed towards me, joining their hands to say chumreab sua. I love it. I spoke to the director of the centre about a few issues that I need to include in my report. I didn't get all the answers I needed which means that I will have to be inventive, without actually lying. A blurry distinction in the job of a communications officer…

Tomorrow I'm going to Kampong Cham, which is 3 hours away from Phnom Penh. I'm going with Kosal the DG and Guillaume. We leave here at … 6.30, and we're probably gonna arrive back quite late. That'll be interesting.

Anyway, off to the internet café now. I'm gonna try to go to bed not too late cos last night dinner at Corinne's finished at 11 and waking at 6.30 was a struggle. It'll be even worse tomorrow. Anyway, I need to catch on on some Desperate Housewives watching. I bought the entire 2nd season at the Russian Market (10$...)

Traffic in Phnom Penh

January 17th

I thought I was going to faint and that there was going to be nobody to pick me up… I went to Takmao to visit another family house with Corinne and Julie. I hadn’t eaten much today and then on the way back we got stuck into some terrible traffic (see picture). I got home and I was shaking and there was no-one home (they’d just dropped me home cos they had stuff to do). I went to the supermarket and bought $5 worth of biscuits. Don’t worry, I also bought bread and Vache Qui Rit. It’s the only stuff you can find in that supermarket.

The visit was as always amazing. The kids were very cute and very attaching. The mom chatted to us for hours, explaining what she’s been up too lately. She and her husband do loads of things to get money. Hey repair furniture, make table sets, buy pigs and chicken make them fatter and sells them back.. Julie says they’d the family which costs less to Krousar Thmey. We now understood why! The kids looked very happy. And the end the mom asked us to come visit often cos the kids love it. She gave us loads of fruit from her garden, this really delicious jam she made and a wooden toy she had made for Corinne’s kid Raphael.

Today Kosal, KT’s director general, is back from her holidays. I was worried about her arrival a bit as everybody had told me to be careful about this, and she likes things like that, and when she says this do it right away. She’s seems very nice. But I was also told not to be fooled by the friendly appearances, she remains our boss. I hope she’ll like me. Apparently it’s good to have her on our side.

So tomorrow is the day we will drop the bomb to her: the fact that I can’t drive. This has been a matter of intense debate since I arrived. There is no way in the world I will be able to drive here without a driving licence. The license in itself is not an issue, you can buy them without passing a test. It’s the fact that even an experienced driver feels like someone who has never driven before in the streets of Phnom Penh. Traffic is the biggest source of deaths and accidents in the city. It’s a nightmare. Even wore than when we’d been last time. Apparently it gets exponentially worse every year. There is just no sense of direction, motorbikes, and cars, drive extremely fast and without care of their surroundings. When I cross the road to go to the internet café, I’m so tense. It’ds not like you first look left then right. You’re constantly going left right left right until you hit the other side. The KT car gets scratch every week and accidents happen at least every month. And then there’s driving outside Phnom Penh, with the potholes and the ravines. Julie had to drive on a road today which was only half of the car’s width wide, and then on one side there was a bump of dirt of about 40 cm high and on the other a small ravine. And this is driving a pick up truck… No way in the world am I ever driving here. No one contests that I should not drive here. But this is not cool for the others. Like today, when we came back from Takmao. Julie had to visit an apartment at 5.30 and Corinne had to get medicine f her son before the pharmacy closed. The traffic was horrible. So they automatically thought they’ll go to these places and I’ll drive the car back to casa… oh wait, no, we can’t do that, Anaïs does not drive. So they had to do a complicated detour so that the car would be returned to the casa and do everything in time. Or like for the tours. Every month we do a tour of the country on car to visit the different centers. In febuary Guillaume’s parents are coming during the week of the tour and he too holidays. So Julie is all worried that she’s gonna have to drive 10 hours a day on dirt roads all by herself. Well she won’t, it’s not feasible. Driving on these roads requires far to much concentration as people live on the edges on the roads and you have to be constantly aware that a kid or a cow might jump under your wheel. You also have to know how to avoid holes and get out of them if you’re stuck. So anyway, we’re gonna have to tell Kosal the great news tomorrow, and I’m not looking forward to it.

Yesterday was ok. Dana was very nice. She’s about my age and very pretty. We went to “comme a la maison” a French café where you can have viennoiseries and stuff. It’s oin that area of Phnom Pemh where all the expats are and the International organizations and the NGOs. It’s a different country altogether. It was weird for me to see white people. Like we met in front of the FCC. There were loads of tourists and tuk tuk drivers were harassing me with their “lady, you want tuk tuk”. In the part where I live there’s not even any tuk tusk. So I start by saying Até akun, and then they ask again and again. At one point I started getting angry at this group of tuk tuk drivers in Khmer. They looked at me with big round eyes. They’d probably never seen a white person getting angry in Khmer before. So anyway, it was weird being with a girl who was “that kind of expats”. All expats except for the KT ones really live like kings here. Their houses are palaces, they go to place like comme a la maison for Sunday brunch (5$ for a coffee and chausson au pomme, that was way over my budget…) and they basically live a western life, western style hang out with whites all the time, go to western restaurants and bars. She kept bumping into white people she knew. She introduce them to me. Oh and this is Tom from Oxfam America, and Dave from World Vision Germany. And I’d go hi, I’m Anaïs from Krousar Thmey. They would cringe with an interrogative look. I was so surprised because not once have I said to a Khmer person that I work for KT without them going Ah! Krousar Thmey, yes the street children and the blind children!! And believe me I have told many many Cambodians (people always ask me what the hell I’m doing here) People always feel sorry for me when I tell them where I live. And a part of me envies them for all this luxury. But I can’t help but feel proud that I’m living a real Cambodian experience, on a Cambodian salary, suffering the Cambodian dusty home without air con and noisy neighborhood. It would be too easy otherwise. And I feel very close to people. I speak Khmer all the time and it’s quickly improving. Expats here can only say akun chran and even that they don’t say right. I also am lucky to have contact with the kids, the actual beneficiaries of our project. I would have been so frustrated to work in an office writing about human rights, going to meetings about capacity building without actually seeing and feeling what we were talking about. Each time I go to a center I feel overwhelmed. Its just too great for words. The expats are missing out on much more than I am.

I’ve also made myself a budget plan for putting aside a part of my KT salary too. It should be feasible. The guys say they never come out at the end of the month with money left over but they also go out a lot in the evenings for dinner and drinks. I’m also gonna try to cut out on the 2.5$ rip off lunch. Around the corner you can have pork and rice for 2000 riel… At least once or twice a week.

Anyway, I’m off to the internet café and then shower (at last!! You could scoop out the dust mixed to sweat on my face with a spoon!) and to bed, as I am developing a serious headache thanks to that lovely traffic jam experience in the hot and loud street of Phnom Penh.

At the pagoda

January 14th

I had quite a busy day. Last night went ok, there were a lot of French people and I talked to some of them. Corrine and her husband were there. I got to be quite friends with her as we are always together at work as she is explaining me her job. And when we went to Takhmao on Thursday we were chatting a lot in the car. We talked a lot yesterday evening too, about our families and stuff. She’s really nice. Most of the people had left by 11-12 but unfortunately my group of people were looking like they were planning to stay a while still. In the end we left at 1.30 and they all wanted to go to this new bar which had just wanted. I just wanted to hit the sack as I still had to be up at 6 the next morning. Thankfully so did Guillaume so we went home.
Waking up at 6 was indeed a bit harsh. I was falling asleep on my computer. I guess I’m still a bit tired as I haven’t slept more than 7 hours since I got here and the new experiences are quite exhausting in a way. I never remember actually falling asleep. I hit the bed and poof, I’m out.

Corinne called me this morning to see if I wanted to have lunch at hers at noon. She said we could talk about me getting a evening job as a translator or English teacher with her husband. It was really nice. They have a sweet house and their cook makes the most amazing food (for a third of the price of ours). Her little boy is adorable. He’s just 2, which is the age when they say funny things. He has a itchy skin rash all over his body and they went to see many doctors which could heel it. So her Cambodian nanny told her about this famous Buddhist monk who has magical healing powers. She asked me if I wanted to come with. What an experience. We went to this small village outside Phnom Penh. Today is a good day according to the moon and stuff so a lot of people were queuing outside his pagoda. When we arrived people were staring at us, really weirded out that white people were coming to see this guy. All of them spontaneously sprung out of their seats to make us sit, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. They couldn’t conceive that white people would stand up while they were sitting. And despite the queue, Raphael her kid was taken care of right away. First he was stripped off his clothes and the monk was throwing at him buckets of water while chanting Pali prayers. Corrine looked at the stale looking water with suspicion and worried that would not help his skin problem… Then they went inside the pagoda and the monk blessed a bottle of water and a little metal tube around a cotton string. He was putting a magical formula in the tube which was then tied around his waste. It was interesting.
Then we went around the village. I looked inside the school (I love seeing the kids at school, they are so cute and behaved!) and the pagoda. Then we went to the nanny’s house. She lives in a small house on a dusty path with at least 15 family members. They were all so welcoming, they brought us fruits and drinks. It was so laid back and peaceful. Corinne told me that’s how it is in Cambodia. You don’t have to call up in advance to say your coming, you just turn up. Then you sit at a table and they will talk to you the walk off to do something else, somebody else might turn up at the table, but if not, is perfectly fine that you stay there and just listen to the peacefulness. The host doesn’t hurry around trying to entertain the guest. It was nice. I real Cambodian experience.

Then they drove me back to Uriel’s. Man oh man you should see his house!!! A flippin palace. So modern and clean you forget completely you are in Cambodia. And his wife is nice. At the beginning she seemed a bit stressed out, which is normal, they have a 1 month old baby. But like there’s nothing Cambodian about their huge house. Even the food. She buys everything from the supermarket and gets a lot of stuff sent from the US. She works for an American Christian NGO. It made me quite envious and nostalgic as well. It was like I was in a western country again. All the expats I see here earn so much money and then there’s us KT people on local wages. I know I’m not in here for the money, but it still seems unfair sometimes. Anyway, so Uriels’ nice. We chatted and I took care of the baby a bit. Then they invited me to stay for dinner. Nice western salad and western pasta. They seemed very tired and stressed out though, I felt like I was in their way and that I should go as soon as I finished my dinner. They are leaving again Tuesday for a month. I wouldn’t mind if he invited me a lot…

I got back home on a motodop. There’s this African Party on tonight at the CCF (centre culturel francais) which I’d said I’d go to but I can’t be bothered. I’m tired and if I’m just gonna meet people like yesterday night then it’s not worth the effort. Tomorrow I’m meeting Dana from PACT at 11. I hope that’ll be alright. I hope shouldn’t agree to meet me just to be nice but really can’t be bothered. I felt like I was in the way of Uriel and Natalie already today I don’t want it to be the same tomorrow. Like I dumped this NGO at the last moment cos I found better, and now I’m asking her to meet up with me. Maybe I’m being too cheeky. I hope it won’t be awkward. So anyway, I prefer having a good night’s sleep on the only day I have off in the week. Problem is that I am probably making myself a reputation for being a party pooper…

Bird flu

January 13th

Lets play a new game: guess what kept Anaïs up this night. Well, it wasn't a wedding this time it was a )%@*# rooster which went on, at interval of a minute to a minute at a half (I counted) from 5 am. At one point I got so exasperated I waked my window shutters open (I don't have a window, just shutters with slits through their whole lengths) and the stupid bird got scared away. Only for a moment though. He came back with a vengeance a few minutes later.

Speaking of poultry, funny thing: the Cambodian government affirmed that there is no bird flu in Cambodia, cos you know, even if countries all around here have it, birds don't go through Cambodian borders, obviously they go around them. So yesterday when we went to see the Familial House in Takh Mao, the mother was saying how she used to have many chicken but they all died recently, and then she innocently said, and the neighbors one's too all died, there must be a kind of epidemic. Corinne and I looked at each other and we just laughed… If only it could reach my neighbor's stupid rooster…

But night is not the only time when I have trouble with noise here. Since I got here, there has been some kind of ceremony involving loud annoying music on my street EVERY DAY. We had two weddings, which last 2 to 3 days each. We were so relieved went it finished yesterday. And then this morning, another kind of loud music driving us all nuts. Not like Khmer pop tunes, this time this traditional xylophone-or-flute-like-sounding-traditional instrument crap that you hear in Chinese movie. There's about 5 notes and it goes on continuously. Every 2 hours or so, the music stops and then a guy speaks on the microphone lamenting some incomprehensible phrases (not that I understand Khmer anyway). So I asked my Khmer colleagues: what is this now? He replies: A ceremony to show gratefulness and gratitude to your parents. Every Cambodian needs to do that before their parents die. It lasts 2 full days and people are invited to attend. But what I don't understand, is why they can't quietly meditate on how great this parents are, instead of broadcasting it to the whole street. Or just have a mother's day and a fathers day without bothering anybody? He answers: you need to show people that you are grateful.

I had a pretty eventless day today, as I stayed in the office all day. Mrs Tannath, the director of the Psar Depot center called me to ask if I wanted to join the educators tonight as they go to their weekly night visit of the streets. Unfortunately I had been invited to a dinner tonight at Bea and Jerome so I had to decline, but I hope she invites me to come next time. That'll be quite scary but so interesting at the same time.

Writing reports at work

January 12th

I am feeling better today afterall, despite the horrible start this morning. I cannot believe they start weddings at 4 am. And it went on until noon!! I just went past them after lunch and they were sweeping away and putting away the tables. Needless to say I gave them "the look". Not only is Khmer music horrible, well for the western ears anyway, but the sound was awful. I was so loud that the quality was so poor. After about 10, the music was replaced b a guy on the microphone making some kind of quiz. All we would hear was "nom say beit net ahay? Baaaaaaht!" It sounded like my Learn Khmer CD Rom, when the guy asks me a question and then goes Baaaaht!!

But anyway, I got cracking on my first report, the temporary street children center in Psar Depot. This one is intended for one of the donors of that report, which is Terre des Hommes Germany. They are this annoying NGO which want their report in a specific format. KT usually likes to make reports with stories, interviews, loads of pictures etc. But this one, no, no, or rather nein, nein, they want objectives, indicators, outputs, results, reasons for deviation, assessment and ways to improve project. It's got a whole guideline on how they want the report done, with the number of lines each sub category should have. It's a pain. How "strange" that I'm the one stuck with this one to do. But anyway, I looked at how the previous report was done and it was such a mess. Stuff didn't fit at all in the categories it was under. So I decided to start a bran new one and I did this table with in one column the objective, then indicators, then how it was carried out, then result. I showed that to Corinne and she was impressed. I'm so formatted from the Commission and UNHCR. Like I kept writing stuff like "best interest of the child" I got that from UNHCR, they call it BID (best interest of the child determinator). And the indicators were my favorite. I got loads of practice with those at the OECD…

I went to walk around the area where I live during lunch. Last time I went walking around Kampuchea Krom Blvd and Mao Tse Tung Blvd. This time I went around the inside, on the off beaten tracks. There's not much there. Just poor families sitting on the ground with dishes in a basin full of water and babies in krama-hammacs. I didn't go too long at it is boiling hot at that time of the day. You must check on the internet what temperature it is. I'm saying 35 or something. The coolest I had so far was 29 the day before yesterday and today it feels much hotter.

Yeah so things are looking ok today. In guess I'll keep having ups and downs. Usually I'm feeling down in the evening because I have no one to talk to, whereas at work it's a bit more lively. When I was walking around the poor street around where I live this lunch time I was thinking how I really love this country, despite the fact that it was cooking, making the nasty smell even worse, and That people were looking at me like I was a Martian. I went past a school and saw the kids in recess, and they were so cute, then I went past a busy road and saw the mess it was with its cars and motos and cycles going against the flow and it just made me laugh inside. When I'm in this mood, I can easily say to myself, this is not that bad, I can pull myself together when I feel down and do some painting or go to the center nand do something on my own. The problem is that when I'm not feeling well, I can't hear that voice saying that to me.
Anyway, I need to got back to work. I'll finish this letter afterwards.

So this afternoon I went to two more centers in the outskirts of Phnom Penh. Man, I wish I could just work on the field. It's just too amazing for words. We went to Takhmao where there is 1 protection center and 2 familial houses. A protection center is a permanent center for orphans, abandoned kids and street kids who could not be reintegrated into their families for a reason or another (wheras the center I went to 2 days ago was a temporary center for street children, where they are schooled, taken care of all day and where a long-term solution is found). They go to normal school, have some activities at the center. Today there was a dentist visit and a danse class while we were there. The kids are just adorable. When they see our while 4x4 arrive they all rush to us with their huge smile and they all say with their little voices chum reab sua, chum reab sua with their hands joined. Their eyes are sparkly, you can see their happy kids. They followed me around everywhere ask me questions in Khmer or in English if they are older and they are so proud to ask their questions in English. They always ask me the same question, first how old I am, they if I'm married. Young girls, old men, teachers, everyone I've met always asks me that.

I also met Wanna, the mascot of KT. He's this blind kid that was in Site 2 in Thailand and who was badly maltreated and exploited by a trafficker. KT took him at he's a the origin of the 8 blind and deaf schools KT created. The only ones in Cambodia. It also created a sign language news programme on national TV. Anyway, the guy is now 23 and is a music teacher at the center. He showed us his keyboard. He can play, and teaches, any Cambodia musical instrument. But recently he formed a rock ban and started the piano. He casually walked to his piano as if he was completely sighted. Turned in on, and played this Cambodian pop tune like it was the easiest thing it the world. I had tears in my eyes. It was so annoying. I'd heard about this kid so much, even before I'd started here, about how he was so badly maltreated he couldn't walk and everything. It was amazing.

Then we went to a familial house. These are quite a popular programs for donors of KT. They are intended for kids who have suffered events so traumatizing that living in a protection center which holds about 40 to 50 kids would not be the appropriate structure. So KT builds a house in the outskirts of a big city, hires a couple which will live in the house and take care, as if it were its own children about 9 or 10 KT kids. That was so amazing too. Here too the kids welcomed us with their smiles and their bows. The mom had 2 kids of her own and 10 adopted one. I couldn't tell them apart to save my life. The youngest one, Minia was the most adorable kid ever. He was just too cute. He was crawling around everywhere, kissing and hugging his adoptive mom, saying cute things all the time and being cheekier than the cheekiest cambodian monkey. He said to me Bang Srey Sa-at, which means pretty girl. Then he came and sat on my laps and then asked me if I wanted a banana and dragged me by the hand to the banana trees. When I left he even gave me a kiss on the cheek! Adorable. The older girls were so sweet too. Showing me how well they spoke English (I asked them: How old are you? And both of them answer I'm fine thank you!) and asking me if I have a boyfriend. They look so happy and épanoui in this home, and thinking these were all kids victim of traffic or kids from prisons in Bangkok. The idea behind these houses is that kids need a family structure in harmony with the traditional Khmer family to have a happy life. They don't have a luxurious house, maybe all them share two bedrooms. But that's how families live here. They all interacted with eachother as if they were real brothers and sisters, playing like little monkeys in our pick up truck. It was just amazing. It really made me happy to be part of an organisation which makes an important difference in the lives of so many kids.

I'm going to Uriel's Saturday afternoon. Turns out Corinne knows him well as he works for the same company as her husband. Small world…

Visiting the street kids

January 10th

After the internet café last night I went home and Guillaume told me he was going to watch a movie at Benito's (he has a house just next door but is never there, but you can go there to watch his dvds). I didn't know whether to go with them cos I was still very tired and I wanted to just have a shower go into my room and watch Desperate Housewives on my laptop and go to bed early. But then I thought it was better to at least show my face to be socialble. So I went there for a bit. They were watching this guy movie called revolver, which they didn't even get, and since I'd miss the beginning I was completely lost. So I didn't stay long and went to bed at 10. For once I slept through the night. Well… I wake up at least 6-7 times per night but I go right back to sleep. I don't hae a very deep sleep because of the noise and the heat. It's more like a long rest. But at least there wasn't the music at 5am. That was just a wedding apparently. I was so relieved when I learned that cos if I can probably get used to thet traffic noise all through the night, I don't think I would ever have got used to the horrible Khmer tunes…

This morning was really awesome. After I went to the bank with Julie (she's the finance controller so she needs to go there quite often and so I asked if I could go with her to change my TCs) and got back with a motodop I went to the "visit" with the educators and Corrine. Quite an experience. So there were 4 educators. First we went to Psar Thmey, and this kid saw the motorbikes and stopped us right away. He seemed so happy to see us. Well not us, but the educators. He was filthy. So so dirty. You could see from his face that he was old, it turned out he was 17, but in height he was smaller than my brother. The guys cut his nails, spoke with him. We were asking him a lot of questions on how long he'd been on the street (6 years!) when was the last time he had a shower (he swam in the Mekong 2 or 3 months ago, cos it's too cold at the moment!). He "works" as a car keeper. He earns about 5000 riel a day. He says eats every day. But he's biggest expense is glue (2 tubes a day) and amphetamines. Then this other kid arrives. Older kids always live in groups of 4 max 5. He looked so dirty too and was missing loads of teeth. He arrived with tubes of glue. Then they went asking neaby sellers for plastic bags. The educators were telling them to at least say please and thank you. They thought that was weird. They also tried to tell them the effects of the glue, but they continued sniffing away. Ir was horrible. You could see their eyes become all shiny right away and then they started walking around like crazy. It was amazing to see that they had so much trust in the educators. They told them everything about when they took drugs, how they got it, with absolutely no reticence. These kind of kids don't go to centers. Itr's too late. They are addicted and love the freedom of the streets too much. We asked them why the don't go to the center and they said cos it is boring. The educators just go and visit them to see if they are alright and stuff. After about 20 min we moved on.

We went to Sisowath quay, just in front of the royal palace there's this pagoda with loads of beggers and people selling flowers, birds and stuff. This is a different kind of street children. They have their moms there, who are begging too. The kids were smaller and livedf in a bigger group. There was one little girl of about 3 who had this horrible cut on her foot that looked really nasty and her foot was badly swollen. So they got out their kit and started disinfecting the wound. Then they asked the mom to go to Kantha Bopha (the free children's hospital set up by the Swiss guy playing the cello) so the kid could have a tetanus shot. They said they would come back tomorrow to check if she'd done it. Loads of kids were gathering. They know KT and they love them. They were all showing their cuts that needed healing. They just liked the comfort and people taking care of them. These kids don't do drugs and they seem to eat more or less alright. A few of them had very light hair though from malnutrition. But at least they weren't hooked on drugs. But again, there's nothing much that KT can do apart from taking care of them on the street, as they have parents. Some time if the kid is obviously maltreated or the parents let their kids go to the center they can go. Then we went looking for the mom of a kid who arrived in the center a few days ago. We asked other beggars along the way but couldn't find her.

Yesterday, the director of one of the centers was telling us about these 2 kids hat had just arrived. Their mom was vfery ill. She was beaten so badly by her husband, who'd just left her, that she's partly paralyzed and is disfigured. She let two of the kids go but kept her girl to take care of her. Here too there's nothing KT can do. They tried to get the mom into some kind of NGO that could help her but she would need longer term hospital treatment and for that she needs someone to ake care of her (you don't get fed in cambodian hospitals and sleep on the floor.) It was a very depressing case.

Corinne just called me to say she wasn't coming back this afternoon as she is feeling ill. She has a cold due to this "cold winter". Give me a break. The educators asked me as soon as I arrived if I wasn't cold like that (I was wearing trousers and a tank top…) It's 29 degrees today, but anything under 30 is freezing around here..

I'm feeling a bit better today. Going on the street really made me realize why I came here and stuff. I guess I'll keep having good times and lonely times. I don't know what I'll be doing this afternoon if Corrine's not here. I'll guess I'll just read up on some previous reports and maybe start writing the intro of one of the reports I need to do with the stories of this morning.
I kept some of my lunch for dinner. I'm a bit worried that I'll lose a lot of weight here. Now I wish I'd arrived here fatter. I really don't eat much here and never have like sweets or chocolate. Last night I went to bed having eaten a banana and a pomme cannelle (these yummy pear like fruit). It'll be like in Belgium when I could never be bothered to cook for myself at night, especially when I don't know what to cook here, and there isn't much high calorie stuff. I just don't want to get badly ill because my body can't fight anything.

OK, I'm gonna try again the phone shop (Guillaume told me it was perhaps because he needed a certificate saying that I worked and lived here) and go to the internet café to send you this.

First impressions

January 9th

Yesterday was a bit hard. I just couldn't imagine myself here for a whole year. It's really quite basic and dirty at la casa. I spend quite a lot of time scrubbing my room but still. The mattress is doubtful and I won't even get started on the mosquito net… The noise is incessant. Horns, traffic, people shouting. People started putting music really loud this morning at 5am. So I laid away there until 6.30. It's quite smelly too. You know the particular Cambodia smell. We didn't have that in our hotel room but here you have to have doors and windows open as the fans don't work well... Anyway, I should just see them as challenges.

Work today was quite interesting. In the morning Corrine and I just sat in the living room and she presented me Krousar Thmey. She knows it inside out as she's been working here for 3 years. Then in the afternoon I went to 2 street children centers. It was so great to see how they actually were. And the kids… They were just too cute. I wish I could be an educator. But unfortunately their job is reserved for Khmers, we are only allowed limited contact with them. Tomorrow we're going to follow the educators during a "visit". That's when they go in the streets to meet street children. They speak to them, they check if they have nits, cut their nails (it's a way to create a physical contact). Little by little they convince these kids to come to the centers. The sad thing is that usually only 50% of the kids who come in go back to the street where they sniff glue and don't have to learn anything. The directors of the centers where telling us about different kids, why they are here, what's their story etc. Some of the stuff was really depressing. But the kids are so behaved and you would never imagine that these little innocent faces play with knives, do drugs or steal. When they arrive at the center, they re-become the kids that they are supposed to be. Like one of the little boys starting crying when he saw us (because one of the stupid educators had told him that if he didn't behave the white volunteers would eat him…Great stuff for our reputation) He cried like a little baby eventhough in the street he was probably a tough kid.

I'm a bit anxious because I really have big shoes to fill by replacing Corrine. She was announcing to everybody as we were in the centrer that I was the girl replacing her, it was the first time they heard that she was leaving and you should have seen the look on their faces… each one of them… She's older (34), speaks Khmer fluently, knows what she's doing, does a lot of fundraising etc. They all asked me how long I was staying for and were disappointed that I would only stay a year. And that already feel like ages for me!!! Having said that, I now think that it will take such a long time to understand this job well and do it properly, that I understand why the Cambodian staff want volunteers to stay longer.

Right now I have loads of things to do like go change some travelers cheques, buy stuff I need for my room, find an internet café that works, buy a sim chip. I just don't know where to go here. I'm thinking of going to the area along the river that I know well, but it's kinda far away just to go to an internet café (the bank and the market will be closed at this time, I've just been told). And don't lknow how we're working for food, toilet paper, and other common stuff. We don't have the cook for evenings and Julie told me they usually go out to eat.

I wrote this at home and now I'm in an internet cafe. I went to a supermarket and bought myself breakfast stuff. The I went to a phone shop and ask the uy for a cambodian sim. It was really hard to understamd each other. When he finally understtod I wanted a sim chip he told me I need a cambodian ID card. I tried to explain I didn't want a contractjust pay as you go but it was impossible to make him understand me... So I guess I'll try asking the other guys again if they an give me a hand with that too. The i went walkig around. I walked to sihanouk bvd and bought some fruit. It's good cos I spotted stuff like where I could buy a fan if it justs gets too hot in my room (right now is hardly bearable and it's winter. Khmer keep complaining about how they having a particularly chilling wintyer this year. Come on people it 32 degrees!)

OK, I'll go home now. Hope sombody will be there and will offer me to have dinner with them... If not I've got fruits. And I'll go to bed early cos I so tired, each time i sit down I feel like I'm about to nod off.